It feels like yesterday that I still had 8 weeks to the operation and now it is only 10 days to go. I have to be in hospital by 18:00 on the 15ht for pre-operation tests. They have not told me what time I will have my procedure done, I do hope it is very early in the morning so that I do not have to wait around. Not sure if my nerves can handle it!So it has been a while since I wrote on my blog. There is not much happening except for waiting for the day to come. In between my last entry and today I have been to Paris with my boyfriend to celebrate my birthday. We had a lovely time. So this is the last week of eating ‘normal’ for me for the rest of my life. I suppose now that I think about it the realisation of what I am about to do is settling in. Coming from a Southern Hemisphere Country, meat is a big part of my diet. I think becoming vegetarian for 4 weeks might be a tall order, but we’ll see how I go! I have received very thoughtful gifts like gift vouchers for clothing stores as I will need them soon! I have been trying to imagine myself being skinny; it is very difficult to do. My house mates say they think I look a bit like Katie Holmes…. Big complement as I think she is very pretty. It is insane and it does not feel real. My internet friend said it is amazing looking in the mirror and seeing herself and not a round football. I can so relate to that. It is like when you get all dressed up an look at yourself in the mirror and you see your face, it is pretty and dolled up. You hair is looking great and you look ok in the mirror if you look at it full length, just you have one of those that actually make you look better than you do, and the light in your bedroom is forgiving. You feel pretty and hot and ready to have a good time. Then you catch a side glimpse of yourself in the shop window or in the elevator or maybe someone stares at you or you perception is that they are staring at you and you loose that great feeling. I do not have a fat person inside my body. I am not sure if this makes sense to you reading it?Lately I have found myself sitting on a bench with my boyfriend or driving in the car seeing other big people and asking him “do I look like that”? It is amazing what your own perception is of yourself and what it reality. I don’t think I lived in reality because I would not be able to cope with it.  I have been going through my photo’s. There is no full length photo on my PC of me. Looking on facebook there are some photos of me that I hate. It is only when you look at them that reality hits you KAPOW right in the stomach! I am beautiful but I deserve a better quality life – this operation will give me that. Therefore I am brave and going for this, Guns Blazing. The fact that I am scared beyond believe is not a factor. I will wake up on the morning of the 16th and a new, better life will begin for me. I am so grateful to have Stu. He is been such a big support to me. He is the one who is coping with all the emotions behind the scene who holds me when I cry and reassures me. When he takes my hand and look me in the eye I know it will be ok. The future is bright for us… I can’t wait for the rest of my life to begin!