Gastric Bypass Surgery

Before I leave the consultation rooms, they give me a pre-op diet regime. Some shakes, chicken and herb soup sachets. That is what you are allowed to eat with at least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables. You can also eat as much steamed veg and fruit as you want. I get home and have a discussion with Stu about all of this. They also gave me a list of operation dates. The op only gets done in Manchester. They apparently have a state of the art theatre and the surgeon doing the procedure is based there. He is in a league of his own, so I hear. He does not use staples but hand sow. There will only be 5 little incisions as this is a laparoscopic procedure the same as when you go for a hernia operation.  The problem starts with finding a date that is suitable. We are so busy the next six weeks and then I have to meet the future in-laws. I do not want to just have had surgery when I meet them. So September and October is out. November is too long to wait – I’ll change my mind. So all that is left is July and August. The date in July is only 10 days away – not enough time to everything organised and things at school settled. So we choose the 16^th August 2008. A week after we go to see Stu’s sister in Scotland. I speak to the surgeon about flying to Spain on the 22^nd August as we have booked paid for this trip ages ago. He says it is ok. I am just not allowed to carry luggage and I have to get an seatbelt extender to make sure that there no pressure on the cuts or my stomach. I am still in two minds about this operation. I need to talk to someone who has had the exact same operation done. I mention this to Cheryl when I speak to her and she says she is sure she can arrange it for me. She phones back within minutes with a name and a contact number. The girl has had her op on the 18^th April. She is about my age and we even weigh almost the same I think.  I phone her immediately. She is very friendly and open and honest. It is soooooooo good to speak to someone who is going through and has gone through what I have gone through. She explains a bit about the operation. About the importance she thinks of having someone there with you. She tells me about the glass of wine she has had – no really bad side effects expect that she got tipsy from it, also about the Hagen Daz ice cream she has had and how shit that made her feel. She also tells me about her social life. Going out for tapas and drinks. She is leading a near normal life. She is obviously still adjusting to the new way of eating. But she is not sorry for one moment to have the procedure done. She has given me some valuable advice and her email address. Maybe something she will regret is I start emailing her!!! So I speak to Cheryl, I will be admitted to hospital on the evening of the 15^th. My op in on the 16^th.  Paid the £1000-00 deposit. Stu is going with me. As I have a private room they will place a bed for him there. Lovely!!! Not so sure how he feels about this mini brake in hospital really. But he is so supportive and just keeps on saying it is all right. He does not mind coming with me. I think he will take grate care of me! He is an amazing human being! It has been very difficult to try and tell people about this operation. People are so quick to judge you, even if they do not know you. I had a conversation with someone recently, about a judgment made about me from some one I have never met and lives half way around the world from here. It was hurtful and it broke my heart, I am a nice warm hearted person with loads of friends and an amasing boyfriend. People who do not know me should not have the ability to make me feel this bad about myself. While I was writing this entry for my blog. I pictured meeting this guy, very post surgery and wondering how I will react to him. Knowing that I was judged and found to ‘heavy’. Perhaps I should inform him of my judgement of him after this. As lovely as I am, just as big a b$%ch I can be, what a pity that he will not to get to know the nice part of me (I say that now, but will probably be my lovely hospitable self, well mannered like my parents thought me) This page has now up to date info from my journey up to now. Lots to come I’m sure.

I arrive very early for my appointment. The staff are friendly at reception. I see a consultant peep around the door. His patient is running late. I observe him – he looks friendly, almost fatherly. He disappears into his consultation room. I wonder what he does – is he a plastic surgeon or what?His patient arrives; she sounds American and appologises for being late. Now he makes her wait. I can’t help to wonder if it is a game. He opens the door and she goes in. She asks is she could kiss him, does so on each cheek and I think, he must be good at what he does if patient are this comfortable with him. I am seen by a girl called Cheryl. She is very friendly and seems to know her story. I think she might have had one of these procedures as well as she talks like someone who knows. I am not sure what operation I want to go for. A Gastric band like Fern Cotton had or a Gastric Bypass. She decides to go through the slide show of the band and shows me the difference between the two where applicable, I have a list of questions and she answers all of it being very patient.She weighs me and for the first time in my life I do not feel uncomfortable getting on the scales. She works with people who are much fatter than I am. It is kind of reassuring. Next I have to see Dr. Ashton. I’ve read up about him before the consultation and he seems very clever, knowledgeable and a leader in this type of surgery. I wonder if he is vain and if he has had a face lift, you know how these plastic surgeons are! I hear him argue his point with the surgeon who does the gastric band, while I am waiting to see him. He makes a convincing argument and the conversation ends in laughter. The doctor walks past me, stops shakes my hand and introduce himself to me. I wonder if he will do my surgery and feel safe already, he seems like a nice man. I step into the office and feel a little nervous. I sit opposite the doctor and he starts explaining why he thinks I should have a gastric bypass rather than a band. I was leaning toward the bypass anyway, but am impressed with the way he explains the procedures, the pros and the cons.  The next moment I find myself on the bed. He takes my blood pressure, the bottom reading is diabolical. I do not feel self-conscious about this. He works with fat people and this is normal. He is used to it. He does not go into melodramatics of it. But I realise more and more that this operation can actually safe my life or if I need to be less dramatic, add 15 years to my life. He examines me thoroughly and then he asks to see my stomach. I look at him like he has asked a 2 year old for their last bite of ice cream. You must be kidding me I think. I show NO-ONE my stomach! He looks at me reassuringly and proceeds to lift my t-shirt. I feel myself go crimson red it is not a pretty sight! But he is used to it and I am not the biggest person he has had on this bed. Some people do not fit on the bed! He writes down some info and suddenly looks up asking me why I look so bamboozled (he obviously does not use that word). I am very frightened at this moment. Still not sure I wish my partner was here. I tell him that I need to talk things trough with Stu. He is very understanding and even offers to see both of us if I feel it is needed.  I think I just realised that I have to do something mayor before something mayor happens to me. It is scary and I hate myself for letting my body get out of control like this!

After founding an astronomical number of places who claims to be the best and leaders in the field of this surgery it is time to choose a couple to compare against each other. I can’t help to wonder why surgery everywhere else in Europe is so much cheaper than here in the UK. I select a few companies that have a base here but operate in Europe and a few who do their procedures here. They all send me information via the net and a few of them even phone to speak to me. People I speak to all say “what ever you do don’t do it in another country, you hear about all these really bad things that happen to people” So they manage to put the fear of God into me, not that this idea of surgery is not scary enough. I was not ready for the waves of emotions I would feel when I started on this journey. Crying, anger and frustration to name a few.  I feel like a failure for not being able to loose weight on my own, for allowing myself to get this way. I wonder why I am so unfortunate – cause yes you are what you eat, but – and this may sound like a cliché – I eat reasonably healthy and I exercise. I don’t binge drink or smoke, I have had too many drinks before and like to party but not enough to be this obese from it.  Another word that rolls difficult over my tongue – obese. People joke and laugh about. But is a personal hell if you are living with it. Not all of us fat people are happy with the way we look. Not all of us sit on the couch and stuff our face with sugary, fatty foods. Some of us try different diets, different exercises.  So I chose a few places and decide to go with – I am not sure if I am allowed to use their name in this blog, new to it you see – Healthier Weight, a company based in London, who do surgery here and in Italy. Red lights flashing – it is in Europe!!!! But I will do my surgery here in London even though some of the procedures are up to £2000-00 more expensive to do here.   I get info from them and a very helpful woman speaks to me late on a Saturday afternoon. I like the fact that they get back to me almost immediate. Red lights flashing…. Why are they so eager, or am I just being paranoid? I make a booking for a consultation; I have to pay £60-00. Red lights flashing, the other company does not charge a consultation fee and they will not see you without your GP’s consent. Sounds better to me. But my gut instincts says go ahead and see the people at Healthier Weight. That and the fact that the other company is £1000 more expensive than them. Maybe that is why they do not charge a consultation fee! My appointment is on 3^rd July 2008 at 16:00 at their rooms in London. My stomach makes a little turn!

After many years of dieting and exercising and doing the yo-yo thing, I decided to venture into the world of surgery to find some kind of solace and happiness. Because no - even with having the perfect boyfriends and the perfect life - the ever eluding quest for a healthy thin body is a big cause for distress.

So I decided surgery it will be. But alas it is not as easy it seems to be. Obviously the first port of call is Google searching the operation. I was not ready for all the conflicting advice and information! Gastric Banding, Gastric Bypass, Gastric Sleeve, Duodenal Switch …. and the list goes on and on and on.  There seems to be so much information about the negative side about these procedures that I almost give up and decide to let it be. People from and ask if you are mad when you talk about it in general. So I ask for some advice from a face book friend who had a duodenal switch. From the info on the web it sounds like I’ll never lead a normal life after surgery and that I will be condemned to a lifetime of liquids, no social life and never be able to tolerate a drink ever again. So I have decided to do this blog. If you consider this operation or you want to advocate against it, this will be my step by step diary of what happens to me – good or bad – the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.