Gastric Bypass Surgery

 Today I received the papers from the hospital in Manchester. The Alexandra is apparently brilliant. I completed the forms, except to the space where you say what news paper you want. Will have to wait till Stu gets home and ask him. It’s all a bit posh, considering what I have seen in hospitals when visiting one of my school kids. Private room, en-suite and satellite television. Wonder if I can take my guitar heroes PSP game and station with me? Well I am get all excited about my trip to Paris. It is going to be awesome. I can’t wait. Been there before, but I love it so I am happy to go back.Apparently I have to book in at 16:00 at the hospital, but I am not sure how possible it will be as I will still be at work at that time. I phoned Healthier Weight to see if the admission time can be altered, but they will have to get back to me as the girl I deal with is not there today. So I’ll have to phone back tomorrow. Oops I’m note here….
Ps: Was wondering if the millionth letter about life ensurance form my bank that came with these forms is a sign

Considering that obesity and overweight is an epidemic in UK and also around the world. I find it strange that this is such a frowned upon procedure. Let’s be frank about this. On the market there are hundreds or maybe millions miracle ‘cures’ for people who are struggling with weight problems. There would not be such a massive market for these products if there was no demand. Like every other overweight person who tries their best to get rid of the fat, I have tried a lot of these products and diets. I have probably spent a small fortune on trying to loose weight. Every time I tried something I had some results, even really good ones. But then I’d gain it all again plus a few more. I eat healthy in general, have the occasional treat and go to gym 3 to 4 times a week. I swim around 70 laps in 40 minutes. Not to bad for a fat girl I’d say. But the weight is stubborn and clings onto my body like there is not tomorrow. I read in one of the many ‘How to loose weight and keep it off books” that your brain and body gets used to you being a certain weight and will try and keep it there. Now I have tried it all, pills, shakes, low calorie, high protein, this slimming club, that slimming club, hypnosis, starvation, les than 1000 calories, positive mind set and all the rest. And now I have had it. I will not spend a cent, penny, lira or nickel (whatever currency you can think of) on another diet fad.  I am taking some hard money. This is the last straw and paying for a longer, happier life. I am in a relation ship where I can see a future with a couple of kids and a white picket fence. I am doing this for myself. Many people ask so how this procedure works. Well it is malabsorptive. This means that your bodies ability to absorb calories and nutrients from food is limited. The way food is travelling through your digestive system is altered by your surgeon. It is done by bypassing the large part of your stomach and a portion of your small intestine. This means that calories and nutrients will pass through your system without being absorbed. Because of this you will loose weight but also needs to take a very good multi-vitamin for the rest of your life. So what are the risks involved in this procedure, well I’d say exactly the same as any other operation, haemorrhage, blood clots in your legs / lungs, reactions to anaesthetic or medication, infection and of course death. Fortunately this is not common. The Healthier Weight Group has had not fatalities, and only had to go back to theatre once. Pretty impressive, I’d say. And the health benefits? 80-85% of diabetes is cured or improved. 75%  of hypertension patients can stop taking medication. Better self esteem.  And other things (that I do not have) like sleep apnoea, reflux, stress incontinence, infertility, asthma and liver disease are either improved or reduced or cured!

Ok, so I have just been reading through my blog and I think it sounds like I am attacking my future in-laws. It kinda sounds like they are giving me grieve when they are not. The ones I have met are lovely. The ones I am about to meet sound lovely! Judgemental comments made by other, well I am sure I can win the devil over with my charm and wicket sense of humour!I am looking forward to my trip to Paris on the weekend. Enjoy the French Cuisine while I can, not sure what I will be able to tolerate after the operation. I had to sign all these very serious documents about the procedure and the hospital. It is all bout what the £11 000-00 package includes. No there is no food for Stu, but I am sure he is not going to spill tears over not having to eat hospital food!It is now just turning into a waiting game. My computer friends said she was quite emotional and I am experiencing the same thing. I am not sure where it is coming from. I had to explain myself a bit and why I was doing things. I hate to have to explain why. Just accept it and have a normal conversation about it with me. Now it is just a waiting game. I wish I could do this tomorrow!

Well well, I suppose this is what it feels like for a person who is interested in the same sex. Telling people about this kinda like coming out of the closet .I started this blog and then just emailed the link to people I thought should know. Their reactions vary. Spot on, as I would have known my two best friends in the world, Amanda & Mac, immediately respond to it with words of encouragement and support. No judgement just the word “I’m there for you”. Other people react with disbelieve and I find myself in the situation where I need to explain myself and why I am doing this. The only doubt about this operation I have, is that I am scared, like any body else is about going to hospital. The pro’s for the procedure and the impact this will have in my life outweighs the risks involved with this surgery times 10. I had email from my telephone friend, she is making remarkable progress. She has lost almost 27kg or 4.2 stone in just 12 weeks. It in unbelievable! She is coping fine and is back to eating normal food. WOW. I can’t wait. I received my pre-op folder today with loads of info on gastric banding - ? I phone them and they explain that the info is relevant and that it is more the after care part that goes into folder that is important. I am just not allowed anything to eat or drink after 12... I'll get the paperwork from the hospital shortly.The people at this organisation are very helpful and quick to deal with queries. I like the fact that they are so professional and customer service orientated. I suppose that almost £11 000.00 buys you that kind of service!
Coming back to how people respond to this… I think about 10 15 years ago people reacted like this to plastic surgery. Now it is commen and every second person on the street is doing it. It was frowned upon heavily, but now no one blinks. I think the same goes for weight management operations. I wonder if people realise that having this procedure done is only a tool to aid weight loss?
Recently a big hoo-haa was made about Fern Brittain, a British celeb, who has had a gastric band. She lost a lot of weight and when asked how she did it, she said through diet and exercise. Then some one spilled the beans and before long, the media and press were tearing her to pieces. Knowing what I know, I am not in the least surprised that she did not tell any one. I am not a celebrity, although I do think I am quite popular! I do not understand people’s attitude about this operation. The other thing I wonder about is whether people out there realise that without diet and exercise, you will not loose weight with any of these ops. You can still have as much junk as you want to especially chocolate and ice-cream as it melts and easily fits through the band. So my family knows what I am doing and I am sure that by word of mouth more people are gossiping about it now. They are all very supportive, parents obviously slightly concerned. I find it really strange that telling my partners family is such a big deal to me. I am so nervous about meeting them, they come from a Southern Hemisphere country, and some of his family lives in England. I think it is fear of how they will react. It is this whole judgement thing. We live in a judgemental society. Why do we care so much about what other people think? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF PEOPLE AND THEIR BULLSHIT! Why don’t you get to know me before you judge me? T
The same with other people out there. Why do you have to be judged for being skinny or fat, or being black or white, short or tall.  Do you realise that inside that short, fat, tall, skinny, odd looking person is a human being with feelings. No person should have the right or the ability to make people insecure about themselves. And those of you who just go out there and judge – who are you to judge others, do you look in the mirror and see a perfect person, maybe your features are close to it but what about your personality or soul? 
Maybe you should remember that there is no such thing as perfection. There is only perfection in our inperfection.

Before I leave the consultation rooms, they give me a pre-op diet regime. Some shakes, chicken and herb soup sachets. That is what you are allowed to eat with at least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables. You can also eat as much steamed veg and fruit as you want. I get home and have a discussion with Stu about all of this. They also gave me a list of operation dates. The op only gets done in Manchester. They apparently have a state of the art theatre and the surgeon doing the procedure is based there. He is in a league of his own, so I hear. He does not use staples but hand sow. There will only be 5 little incisions as this is a laparoscopic procedure the same as when you go for a hernia operation.  The problem starts with finding a date that is suitable. We are so busy the next six weeks and then I have to meet the future in-laws. I do not want to just have had surgery when I meet them. So September and October is out. November is too long to wait – I’ll change my mind. So all that is left is July and August. The date in July is only 10 days away – not enough time to everything organised and things at school settled. So we choose the 16^th August 2008. A week after we go to see Stu’s sister in Scotland. I speak to the surgeon about flying to Spain on the 22^nd August as we have booked paid for this trip ages ago. He says it is ok. I am just not allowed to carry luggage and I have to get an seatbelt extender to make sure that there no pressure on the cuts or my stomach. I am still in two minds about this operation. I need to talk to someone who has had the exact same operation done. I mention this to Cheryl when I speak to her and she says she is sure she can arrange it for me. She phones back within minutes with a name and a contact number. The girl has had her op on the 18^th April. She is about my age and we even weigh almost the same I think.  I phone her immediately. She is very friendly and open and honest. It is soooooooo good to speak to someone who is going through and has gone through what I have gone through. She explains a bit about the operation. About the importance she thinks of having someone there with you. She tells me about the glass of wine she has had – no really bad side effects expect that she got tipsy from it, also about the Hagen Daz ice cream she has had and how shit that made her feel. She also tells me about her social life. Going out for tapas and drinks. She is leading a near normal life. She is obviously still adjusting to the new way of eating. But she is not sorry for one moment to have the procedure done. She has given me some valuable advice and her email address. Maybe something she will regret is I start emailing her!!! So I speak to Cheryl, I will be admitted to hospital on the evening of the 15^th. My op in on the 16^th.  Paid the £1000-00 deposit. Stu is going with me. As I have a private room they will place a bed for him there. Lovely!!! Not so sure how he feels about this mini brake in hospital really. But he is so supportive and just keeps on saying it is all right. He does not mind coming with me. I think he will take grate care of me! He is an amazing human being! It has been very difficult to try and tell people about this operation. People are so quick to judge you, even if they do not know you. I had a conversation with someone recently, about a judgment made about me from some one I have never met and lives half way around the world from here. It was hurtful and it broke my heart, I am a nice warm hearted person with loads of friends and an amasing boyfriend. People who do not know me should not have the ability to make me feel this bad about myself. While I was writing this entry for my blog. I pictured meeting this guy, very post surgery and wondering how I will react to him. Knowing that I was judged and found to ‘heavy’. Perhaps I should inform him of my judgement of him after this. As lovely as I am, just as big a b$%ch I can be, what a pity that he will not to get to know the nice part of me (I say that now, but will probably be my lovely hospitable self, well mannered like my parents thought me) This page has now up to date info from my journey up to now. Lots to come I’m sure.

I arrive very early for my appointment. The staff are friendly at reception. I see a consultant peep around the door. His patient is running late. I observe him – he looks friendly, almost fatherly. He disappears into his consultation room. I wonder what he does – is he a plastic surgeon or what?His patient arrives; she sounds American and appologises for being late. Now he makes her wait. I can’t help to wonder if it is a game. He opens the door and she goes in. She asks is she could kiss him, does so on each cheek and I think, he must be good at what he does if patient are this comfortable with him. I am seen by a girl called Cheryl. She is very friendly and seems to know her story. I think she might have had one of these procedures as well as she talks like someone who knows. I am not sure what operation I want to go for. A Gastric band like Fern Cotton had or a Gastric Bypass. She decides to go through the slide show of the band and shows me the difference between the two where applicable, I have a list of questions and she answers all of it being very patient.She weighs me and for the first time in my life I do not feel uncomfortable getting on the scales. She works with people who are much fatter than I am. It is kind of reassuring. Next I have to see Dr. Ashton. I’ve read up about him before the consultation and he seems very clever, knowledgeable and a leader in this type of surgery. I wonder if he is vain and if he has had a face lift, you know how these plastic surgeons are! I hear him argue his point with the surgeon who does the gastric band, while I am waiting to see him. He makes a convincing argument and the conversation ends in laughter. The doctor walks past me, stops shakes my hand and introduce himself to me. I wonder if he will do my surgery and feel safe already, he seems like a nice man. I step into the office and feel a little nervous. I sit opposite the doctor and he starts explaining why he thinks I should have a gastric bypass rather than a band. I was leaning toward the bypass anyway, but am impressed with the way he explains the procedures, the pros and the cons.  The next moment I find myself on the bed. He takes my blood pressure, the bottom reading is diabolical. I do not feel self-conscious about this. He works with fat people and this is normal. He is used to it. He does not go into melodramatics of it. But I realise more and more that this operation can actually safe my life or if I need to be less dramatic, add 15 years to my life. He examines me thoroughly and then he asks to see my stomach. I look at him like he has asked a 2 year old for their last bite of ice cream. You must be kidding me I think. I show NO-ONE my stomach! He looks at me reassuringly and proceeds to lift my t-shirt. I feel myself go crimson red it is not a pretty sight! But he is used to it and I am not the biggest person he has had on this bed. Some people do not fit on the bed! He writes down some info and suddenly looks up asking me why I look so bamboozled (he obviously does not use that word). I am very frightened at this moment. Still not sure I wish my partner was here. I tell him that I need to talk things trough with Stu. He is very understanding and even offers to see both of us if I feel it is needed.  I think I just realised that I have to do something mayor before something mayor happens to me. It is scary and I hate myself for letting my body get out of control like this!

After founding an astronomical number of places who claims to be the best and leaders in the field of this surgery it is time to choose a couple to compare against each other. I can’t help to wonder why surgery everywhere else in Europe is so much cheaper than here in the UK. I select a few companies that have a base here but operate in Europe and a few who do their procedures here. They all send me information via the net and a few of them even phone to speak to me. People I speak to all say “what ever you do don’t do it in another country, you hear about all these really bad things that happen to people” So they manage to put the fear of God into me, not that this idea of surgery is not scary enough. I was not ready for the waves of emotions I would feel when I started on this journey. Crying, anger and frustration to name a few.  I feel like a failure for not being able to loose weight on my own, for allowing myself to get this way. I wonder why I am so unfortunate – cause yes you are what you eat, but – and this may sound like a cliché – I eat reasonably healthy and I exercise. I don’t binge drink or smoke, I have had too many drinks before and like to party but not enough to be this obese from it.  Another word that rolls difficult over my tongue – obese. People joke and laugh about. But is a personal hell if you are living with it. Not all of us fat people are happy with the way we look. Not all of us sit on the couch and stuff our face with sugary, fatty foods. Some of us try different diets, different exercises.  So I chose a few places and decide to go with – I am not sure if I am allowed to use their name in this blog, new to it you see – Healthier Weight, a company based in London, who do surgery here and in Italy. Red lights flashing – it is in Europe!!!! But I will do my surgery here in London even though some of the procedures are up to £2000-00 more expensive to do here.   I get info from them and a very helpful woman speaks to me late on a Saturday afternoon. I like the fact that they get back to me almost immediate. Red lights flashing…. Why are they so eager, or am I just being paranoid? I make a booking for a consultation; I have to pay £60-00. Red lights flashing, the other company does not charge a consultation fee and they will not see you without your GP’s consent. Sounds better to me. But my gut instincts says go ahead and see the people at Healthier Weight. That and the fact that the other company is £1000 more expensive than them. Maybe that is why they do not charge a consultation fee! My appointment is on 3^rd July 2008 at 16:00 at their rooms in London. My stomach makes a little turn!

After many years of dieting and exercising and doing the yo-yo thing, I decided to venture into the world of surgery to find some kind of solace and happiness. Because no - even with having the perfect boyfriends and the perfect life - the ever eluding quest for a healthy thin body is a big cause for distress.

So I decided surgery it will be. But alas it is not as easy it seems to be. Obviously the first port of call is Google searching the operation. I was not ready for all the conflicting advice and information! Gastric Banding, Gastric Bypass, Gastric Sleeve, Duodenal Switch …. and the list goes on and on and on.  There seems to be so much information about the negative side about these procedures that I almost give up and decide to let it be. People from and ask if you are mad when you talk about it in general. So I ask for some advice from a face book friend who had a duodenal switch. From the info on the web it sounds like I’ll never lead a normal life after surgery and that I will be condemned to a lifetime of liquids, no social life and never be able to tolerate a drink ever again. So I have decided to do this blog. If you consider this operation or you want to advocate against it, this will be my step by step diary of what happens to me – good or bad – the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.